Flashback

I miss the haze.

Absence that is present.

Hours of sipping coffee overlooking the jungle.

Walking in Pacific Grove

window shopping

a sign

"It's never too late to live happily ever after."

i said, i want that for my front door.

you smiled

we nodded that nod of

that's just simply awesome

Presence

Simple presence.

It's 4 months later.

And yet.

Small treasures, great gratitude

I lingered as I sometimes do in front of the book cases. Old spines...the oldest born in 1688 to newer ones on average just a 130yrs old. Isn't that something?

I looked at Goyo--we've named the bird Goyo. And the sculpture so like a Rodin that the three of us fell in love with (of all places we found her in Vegas and she didn't stay in Vegas). And turn of the century microscopes, knick knacks from about the world and a child's bracelet that jingles now and again all on it's own.

Many things in one room all with a history and a life--a history before they arrived here with us. Things that endure...persevere...and the pause that says, "thank you" to nothing in particular or maybe...perhaps...it's an internal thank you for recognizing how lucky I am for having about me things with lives far older than my own. Perhaps I am luckier than I have ever imagined--we gain years by seeing, by feeling the depth of life (good and bad) and in that act it makes these old "friends" of mine speak volumes of silent mysterious stories...the awesome kind that leaves one in wonderment...that grant me hours of peace just being in their presence.

beginnings and ends

Written on the front and back page of my notebook:

"Do not underestimate your own courage. You are part of an elite. Not of power, position and wealth, but an elite of the sensitive, the considerate and the tenacious....They represent a tradition of struggle against cruelty and unrelenting chaos."

We are in each interaction, with each choice, with each gesture teaching one another *some* thing. Our character in action, on display, making it's mark on another. We choose to hear or not. We choose to seek understanding or prove the other in the image of what suits our internal machinations best. Each choice can be a kindness or an assault. Each word an opportunity to reconcile or attack. Each facial expression a communication of embracing what is or recoiling to a distance.

Moments. Opportunities. A second of one's life. Well spent?

The anger, the injustice, the angst, the fear, the insecurity, the cynicism, the bitterness, the cruelty...well spent?

Moments are like pennies. You receive a penny and either think, "It's worthless and a nuissance" or you think "I can save it and add it to something or I can give it away to someone who needs it more." Moments are like this. An opportunity to not deal or an opportunity to add to a bigger picture. How we spend those moments...how we view each second?

And when the "moment" isn't just today or just this week or just this month or just this year...when the "moment" is a time when one looks back on their life.... Those who are faced with the knowledge that their entire being fought to be heard and if they had only listened, stepped back and listened, how different--how much more a life they would have lived.

The firing range is about the shooter not the one looking down the barrel.
One sees a moment in time.
The other sees a lifetime.

"...against cruelty and unrelenting chaos."

Thems and Thoses

"The them-s’ and the those-s’.

The this-s’ and that-s’."

Just smile....