3 days of ick

cure:

spider solitaire.

Charters, this is for you.

same person, different question/comment today.
"has anyone ever told you that you look like jody foster?"

can you see my face, the thought in my head, 'here we go'.
laughing silently, "yes".

its not left there of course,
"you must hear that all the time."

have we had enough???!!!???

'good lawd'

xmas card winner 2009

crazy eyes, cute as can be and ends with "joy".

the graduate

i started to cry before it started.

jefferson graduated from college.

twelve years earlier.

"can i go swimming with you guys?"

we're still swimming.

we'll be forever swimming.

but sometimes you just get to float.

the nutcracker

it is snowing
in san francisco
outside the opera house

...it is one of those moments
when everything seems perfect
and simply lovely

pulse

do this for me.
no, do this for you.
like the mirror trick
you know that mirror trick?
that one where you look in the mirror and really see.

but do this for me...amuse me.
plug your ears.
one finger in each ear.
close your eyes.
listen.

that is your heart beating.

wondrous....
listen again. listen.
the quiet hum,
this conscious moment,
this engine keeping you alive.

excerpt

Tu vois dans cette poesie
Pleine de licence et d'ardeur
Les beaux rayons de la splendeur
Qui m'esclaire la fantaisie:
Tantost chagrin, tantost joyeux
Selon que la futeur m'enflame,
Et que l'objet s'offre à mes yeux,
Les propose me naissent en l'ame,
Sans contraindre la liberté
Du demon qui m'a transporté. (Katherine Philips)

rain obtructing

i miss star gazing.

1854

reading longfellow...breathing longfellow.

close to the real deal

imposter clark bars (butterfingers). it's close and good enough ;-)

grey rainy days

...sunlight peeks through and a rainbow appears.

identification

distinct "voices".

everyone should have one.

most do.

varfor

"i am so far from where i am supposed to be."

brown eyes

piercing. gentle. a soft, "hello". one of those smiles you don't forget.

i'm too tired to know, to find out, to listen. this trip...i've not yet tripped, fallen, fallen apart and 35k miles in the air with hours to the destination...pass.

he offers me part of his snackbox, he handles the empty coffee cup hand-over, he looks at my very brilliantly red eye. ah the eye. visible defects...i've forgotten visible wounds are seen by all.

"i sneezed a little too hard," i laugh. he laughs politely not convinced.

but it's this simple. i sneezed and my eye is crimson. strange timing. representative of the tears that i will not allow to fall? coincidences.

this lifetime

do you know what it is to see and hear a 92 year old man cry his heart out.

have you ever loved like this?

i hope you do.

kids

i said my thank you a couple of years back. the adult thank you, the one that says, "i fully understand now...you didnt have to...but thank you...thank you."

people ask about the boys, the "why", the "how". we're not certain. as much as we have given, we too, have gained. the necessity to take action...this is from the foundation, those kindnesses along the way.

kids remember.

maybe its the little girl/boy deep inside helping the new kids.