vacant eyes

last week

i looked at a picture that was supposed to be, i think, seductive, enticing, the type that draws you in--that makes you want. but the eyes were vacant. vacant.

in listening to another, the words they spoke...some humiliating, some acknowledging, most directed to the emotions...again the eyes were vacant. i was asked about my perception and i think i ought to have kept it simple, "the eyes did not change. the tenor of speech, the motion of body did...but the eyes did not change." and the eyes were vacant.

for you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbz8tYIpvRA

rubiconisms

"I'm very impressed with your research, very impressed. But I had expected more from your analysis. After all that is your domain, hmm, analysis."

"Don't speak words you cannot hear."

seasons change

(Photo by: Sophie Dunlap)

perception

"Here lies the source of the sensuous character of perception. Basic perception is purely attributive, requiring no classificatory capacities from perceivers. To perceive basically is to appreciate objects exactly as they are without regard for what they are, to be awash with qualities, to have the mind hold, not manipulate, what it finds."

War

"You cannot qualify war in harsher terms than I will. War is cruelty, and you cannot refine it."

try

a language of everything that can be done.

Apathy

Did anyone prepare you for apathy?

(another thing one never must take seriously)

Happy b-day

:-)

happy happenstance

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4Q0rPw-kwg&feature=related

for my friends. for then. for now. for forever. it's always been and will always be the little things. love you.

benevolence

a somber smile.
a tear filled, "i'm so sorry."
a quiet, "thank you"

benevolence.

Tyler

a boy kills himself because another decided to blast a video to the ether.
a boy kills himself and his life hardly started.

that is what all of this comes to...the ability to use this information to trap another’s life, to define it for the world, to judge and evaluate it as X.

you are nothing more than this video for it is all I know about you - one of his options to live with.

and the other option was to let it all go,
give up and make these people - and the rest of us look at ourselves,

our actions, our short-sightedness,
our want of power and control over others

...and now we are left to quietly judge ourselves.

Floating

Nothing changes this sense of things
And the floating abstractions will remain floating
No common language of this I am sure.

The absence of communication
Of a want to exist - is the very reason it doesn't.
And with this I am resolved.

Back to a peace that at times falters,
teeters.
But a peace....

Language

The language of
Everything that can't be done.
It should never be as this....

direction

when the world is small and they like it...small, compact.
isnt this key. this very thing.
wonder is found in the depth for the love of a thing rather than the breadth.

they look mostly upward?
or no, left then right and bowing always while looking up?
maybe this is it.

unknown.

3:00am msgs

"It's all in your head."

....

It is.

It is.

Unknown

"Here is the deepest secret nobody knows. Here is the root of the root
and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;
which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide. And this is
the wonder that's keeping the stars apart... I carry your heart, I
carry it in my heart."

Happy September 2nd

"1000 times...like galaxies in my head"

Invisibles

Tomorrow. I will stare in silence. I will smile and nod. And she will wonder what questions. I think I may not literally care. Not indifference exactly...just an air of the wind keeps blowing.

Searching faces. Something unfortunately I have always done. The Hayward snackie...he knew faces. He knew exactly what I was thinking. A friendship formed simply by use of the word, "Thank you, Sir" and the pause "You're welcome m'am...have a nice day". Simple kindness....politeness...acknowledgement.

They all get treated like crap because they're the snack guy, the bus driver, the guy responsible for emptying the trash receptacles. The power of a smile, of a nod, of sitting next to the roughneck who is hard and pissed to hell when no one else will get close.

Some can't imagine the very essence of life in these acts...and I wonder why no one cared enough to let them know.

true

"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter."

Some are not yours to take

No instant pudding...but you get to skip on this journey.

unfinishes...

speak to me of things
far
below
the surface

where doors
are doorless
and blackness
echoes

W. Berry

The Peace of Wild Things

When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.


— Wendell Berry

happy b-day

:)

i wish i could remember all the silly sayings
but...i do remember the smile, the laughter and the joy in just hanging out.

happy b-day squash blossom!

Found online: Marines to Honor

Lindsay Lohan, 24, gets her name & face all over the news because she went to jail.


Justin Allen, 23, Brett Linley, 29, Matthew Weikert, 29, Justus Bartett, 27, Dave Santos, 21, Chase Stanley, 21, Jesse Reed, 26, Matthew Johnson, 21, Zachary Fisher, 24, Brandon King, 23, Christopher, Goeke 23 and Sheldon Tate, 27 are all Marines that gave their lives for you this week.

Please Honor THEM .

point bonita

you could say a normal day
or not so much.

you could say an extremely calm day
the wind barely evident.

you could say things come in three.

1) the actual day
2) the day of discovery
3) the day you say put it to rest
you could say.

Wandering but not aimless

One will see this before it's published...before it makes its way to the world out there. What is it to see each thought, each idea, the backspaces and the rewrites. In my laughter, I can here such things as, "Oh, the grammar.", "No, that was correct - it was right - what are you thinking.", "It was clearer in its original" or "Its lost its meaning in the rewrite". And my hope is that it is you who is seeing this struggle with words, concepts, a way of thinking...and this beating heart.

Find me here: That I stop and listen to the whirl of the world. And smile. Isn't this something? This life we live. Its sometimes amazing to think we're here at all. In this place, in this space. But...isn't it something?

Wandering...but not aimless.

pieces of wallace stegner

"It is something-it can be everything-to have found a fellow bird with whom you can sit among the rafters while the drinking and boasting and reciting and fighting go on below."


"I didn’t know that it rose on the west side of Targhee Pass...
The divide itself meant nothing to me. My imagination was not stretched by the wonder of the parted waters...
All I knew was that it was pure delight..."


" The very richness of that past as I discover it now makes me irritable
to have been cheated of it then.

All of it was legitimately mine, I walked that earth, but none of it was
known to me.

I wish we had known it....

I knew the swallows and muskrats, and was at ease with them…. But
Time, which man invented, I did not know. I was an unpeopled and
unhistoried wilderness, I possessed hardly any of the associations
with which human tradition defines and enriches itself."


"Wanted
A True Civilization
Not A Ruthless Occupation
Disguised As Romantic Myth"

ether words

chillaxin


sinsashional


wanderful


funtastic

sermons

youtube.com/watch?v=RaDxcVPxB3g&feature=related

hope this brings a smile to your face

i dont know when

but thank you, lee

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hi2L9cB_NQ0

(posted to a random dt...but with me forever)

on the favorites list

and always brings a smile

Graduated!

Air & Space

Sitting between the japanese and german fighter planes from wwii a woman sat knitting



Of all the places she could sit. She chooses, unaware, wwii.


Why not the concord or crop dusters and joy ride aircrafts?


How could she...sit knitting...only to look up or sideways or backways and find these in her view.


Our minds capable of such greatness. The engines, design, space, simply (not so simply) flight. These things amazing. And yet, this museum is war...missiles, warheads, destruction. Good ideas, joyful creative life giving ones turned into weapons.


This is what they do...turn what is the best within into chaos and destruction.

Lemons leak

and scent a room....

thank you

for the diorette cake

:)

spins right around

silent long enough

zd reserve cab

...stops the table...sense of taste consumes them...and that look of 'absolutely wonderful' across their faces.

idan raichel

spent the weekend listening to idan raichel.
the message of merging
or an emergence.
of timing
and blueprints
of things we take for granted.

one song, but more...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0PWukxRV8U

presence of both

i listened to a voice
she spoke of her joy.
her face, that look,
people write books about it
make movies
about such things

and if her voice grants such peace,
when speaking of her joy,
the love of her life.
what then, what then would one feel
to be in the presence of both?

i saw not them
but in my childhood
i saw it once.
a memory on replay often.
my thought, "that is love."

i could, if i could,
paint a picture of the rabbi
and his wife
their gentleness, their peace
and what it was to be in the presence of both.

place and time

so strange to finally feel this emotion and yet. and yet.
there will only be silence now.
the truest form of my existence.

so few understand this.

some day, it's possible
the one who understands this quietude
will too, feel, what i feel for them.

some day.

how...

how we learn to breathe

some of us never do,
not with the reality we're presented with.

we have never learnt, no matter how old,
that there is a freedom in the things that are as they are.

no interpretation, no misconstruction,
that thing, including people, are just what they are.

it will never

she said, "it will never stop raining" while the sun was shining

eye-to-eye, she quizzed, "how many of those do you see?"
i asked, "what's the biggest number?"

she stood slowly, "there are no two alike but they're just the same."

and the distance grew between us as she wandered the beach

and i

pondered how each grain of sand was just the same.

poison

i'm sure it is.

but.

wonder bread is really good.

parking lots

"...you can't sleep in my parking lot."
fuzzy.
"miss, you can't sleep here. you can't sleep in my parking lot."

that makes perfect sense. people shouldn't sleep in parking lots.
but he's talking to me.
i'm tired.

defective wiring
parking lots
lifes adventures.

Book of Lights

"Indeed? Your reticence conceals much. And his exuberance conceals much. I think, if you will excuse me, that reticence and exuberance are often splendid soil for talk that is in essence silence."

a book for the pensive ones.

mysteries

i wish i knew how to write a mystery. there are some who can do this. and do it well.

the clever ones can weave a path.

others able to play catch-up and be ahead in the end.

some just enjoy reading and want the surprise to be a surprise.

a few fear the end.

the great majority don't care that they exist.


i've forgotten why i'm writing about mysteries.

the book in my hands is on architecture.

architecture of the soul.


$

"Howard Roark laughed."

$

“I often think that he’s the only one of us who’s achieved immortality. I don’t mean in the sense of fame and I don’t mean that he won’t die some day. But he’s living it. I think he is what the conception really means. You know how people long to be eternal. But they die with every day that passes. When you meet them, they’re not what you met last. In any given hour, they kill some part of themselves. They change, they deny, they contradict–and they call it growth. At the end there’s nothing left, nothing unrevered or unbetrayed; as if there had never been any entity, only a succession of adjectives fading in and out on an unformed mass. How do they expect a permanence which they have never held for a single moment? But Howard–one can imagine him existing forever.”

$

“Why have you been staring at me ever since we met? Because I’m not the Gail Wynand you’d heard about. You see, I love you. And love is exception-making. If you were in love you’d want to be broken, trampled, ordered, dominated, because that’s the impossible, in the inconceivable for you in your relations with people. That would be the one gift, the great exception you’d want to offer the man you loved. But it wouldn’t be easy for you.”

$

stars

"did you do this?"
"uhm"
laughter.
"you smiled?"
"yeah, thank you."

...if i visit your home
don't be surprised
when you're ready to rest your eyes
if you see stars glowing in the dark.

Movies

Legend of 1900

Listen to it.

Slow going in the beginning.

Watch it.


Avatar

Visual is amazing.

See it.