Freddie's team won their first game and they all seemed very proud of their effort. Some of the teams are huge, kids who are 14 and 6'8". Other teams are small but have a lot of fight to them. I wish I was in the state of mind that could retain a focus on the finer qualities of being 14...sort of transport myself back to that time and know hierarchically what is most important. I often feeling like I am missing some of the little things that may have great importance. They play a team today that may give them some trouble, but I think with diligence they will come out on top.
The resort is great...seven swimming pools and near the parks. I have no desire to go to Disney anything or Sea World or Universal. The lines, the masses of people, maybe the memories from childhood...unknown. Just no energy to deal with it. I still want to head to Captiva...and hopefully can do so on Friday or Saturday although I wonder if it's too soon.
I'm short on patience. Cocooning for a lack of a better term. Angry, distant, needy and laughing at my self analysis...but I guess it's somewhat normal...and maybe not. It's difficult to just "be", to just sit here with this mix of emotions...and yet it is what it is. "Move through it, move through it." Err...months of this??? And I don't think there is a way to reduce the cycle time in this kind of thing.