I woke up with the lyrics of "Right Now" in my head. Something of the 40mins on the treadmill or the way in which the events of 2008 are unfolding or a reminder of everything right now in this moment does "mean everything".
I watched the most painful swimming form I have seen in a long while. Fins and all, but absolutely no glide. Just a battle with the water. Short choppy strokes. Painful to watch...as if they had forgotten their entire body is in motion...as if to illustrate so clearly how we battle ourselves.
Jefferson is pensive. Quiet distance. A want to rationalize. A need to talk. All his friends, "You're such a nice guy...you don't deserve this." He seeks us out...lingers...another message he knows he will receive--and I think needs and aches for..."you deserve the consequences of your actions." He is looking for that...else how does he move through it. He wants the truth more...he wants to hear it...he has reached that point in his life where he knows that it is the only way to resolution.
Right now...right now.