I found a blog that is written by a gay porn star who also is an ecort. Raw, real, genuine and somewhat malevolent but always insightful. The blog itself is as sexual as his life and yet his words (although centered on his work and his other encounters) is applicable to all of us. That alone I imagine makes others shiver.
“…
I have a low opinion of guys who regard themselves as angels. Forcing you to play the corrupting devil, the big bad wolf. While actually you're giving them what they always wanted. They want it but are afraid.
I suppose the lesson to be learned is: be careful for want you want secretly. Because there are people who will give it to you. Though it may come admidst your fake protesting. This way you fulfill your desire without having to take responsibility.
The trouble with some is they move through the world with an rarefied air of preciousness. They can't look in the mirror and admit to obscene wishes. Thus, salvation can only come as a violation. Liberation by surprise.
If I could teach some just one thing it would be this:You don't have to afraid of what you are. Everyone seems to live in fear of their desires, fear of what may come. What would happen if you get what you want? They behave as if they will no longer be who they always were, if...
...
Like their identity will somehow be removed from them. As though their identity is fragile and only exists through sitting on a shelf, untouched.”