I listened to a friend last evening describe the philosophical battle she is having with herself...no peace, no central core that screams out to be...just turmoil. I listened and tried to understand what it must be from her perspective--to strive to live according to certain doctrines in a time and place that almost guarantees the impossibility of the task. How does one accept values and a guide to life that appears to deny the world around them...to live in the world but not of the world. I wonder about the machinations, the guilt, the continuing beating of oneself up. Constant, ever present fighting with your own being. An assurance that happiness is not the goal--that no internally set goal from one's mind is acceptable. But rather, the integrating and accepting fully what has been dictated....
It occurs to me perhaps this is most people...Subconsciously, most of the time. That appearance of getting along in the world, but never at home in it.
Err...Where are the people who are at home living on this earth?